


Vampires Don't Care About Humans, Do They?

by metalshootingstar



Category: What We Do in the Shadows (TV)
Genre: Backstory, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other, is this hurt/comfort?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-01 20:54:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19185364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/metalshootingstar/pseuds/metalshootingstar
Summary: During the trial, he stood up for him...and in the box after the well, as Laszlo and Nadja ignore him for actually lying and saying they did kill the Baron. Nandor is left to ponder.





	Vampires Don't Care About Humans, Do They?

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what I was thinking and this is angsty somewhat but here it is.

"Oh come on." He whines. 

"No! Stay over there!" Hisses Nadja as she and Laszlo, are in the other side of the box having some bat sex..or trying to since Colin Robinson keeps on shaking the box. Nothing like almost dying (again) to get you in the mood, and celebrate the fact you're alive...well as alive as a vampire can be.They are unfortunately also ignoring him and being a couple of giant.....well, no matter. It's not like Nandor wanted to join them anyway. Guillermo finally gets Colin to stop, and the vampire listens to their conversation. 

" You had a heck of a day too. How long have you been with us?" Asked Colin, either out of curiosity or now trying to feed off of Guillermo. 

"Ten years." Says the Familiar. 

"I guess that's the whole deal, with you and him right? That you work for him and he eventually turns you into a uh a vampire?"

"Yeah...that's the deal." Says Guillermo after a bit of a pause. The conversation that happens after he chooses not to pay attention to. He sits instead, in the box staring at the opposite side of it as Colin Robinson speaks and tries to feed off of Guillermo with more nattering and small talk. Ten years. Ten short years they've spent together, with Guillermo in his service. He even made it seem as though he didn't remember on their anniversary but he actually did. He's grown accustomed to the human man who is so loyal to him, he chose to give himself up to the council instead of lying. He at the very least had tried something. And that was worth mentioning as one of the many ways, he appreciated the man...not of course that he'd ever tell Guillermo any of this. Oh no of course he wouldn't. He wonders though, why does Guillermo want to be a vampire? Ok yeah he saw someone in a movie as a kid, but is that really enough to give up your whole life? Don't get him wrong, Nandor loves being a vampire, he really really does. Flight, super strength, sleeping in a comfortable coffin, eternal youth, and immortality, it was all great! But there are things he misses. He misses the taste of human food on his tongue, misses lounging in the summer sun as servants fanned him, misses his favorite wife singing as she brushed his long dark hair, as one of his other wives played the harp, missed drinking wine with his friends as they told stories about pillaging and the things they did, its small things like that he misses. Sometimes he wonders what Guillermo has to leave behind. But that would require asking and he doesn't care enough to ask...not fully. 

He was not always this way. 

There was a time when Nandor did care. A time when he allowed himself to wonder, and say nice things to humans. 

Even before he was a vampire, when he ruled Al'Qolodar he cared. He cared about 35 of his wives, and he cared about his children. He was never there for them, but he cared about them, he cared about his horse John....he could have been better to him, but he cared about him. Before he was turned, he had been a relentless leader on the battlefield, pillaging and conquering lands, killing anyone who stood in his way. But at home, his wives saw a different side of them. He had been good to them, he used to bring them gifts from his travels and conquests. Beautiful furs and silks, all the gold and jewelry they could ever want, the finest clothing, anything they wanted he would give them. Because when you're a peasant boy living in the streets who has nothing, and you come into power with all the wealth it can afford. You give what was never given to you. Tossed out of his thoughts by Laszlo doing something and causing Nadja to squeak slightly he glowers at them, though they continue to ignore him. The conqueror shakes his head..or tries to anyway, but he is a bat. It's something however, that reminds him of his own wedding night....his first wedding night, he had been a young man of about fifteen. The Princess of Al'Qolodar had chosen to wed him because he was a servant boy, and her father would hate it. He married her because it meant escaping the poor life he'd been born into. A marriage of convenience..and it showed on that wedding night, because they were young, inexperienced, and clearly had no idea what they were doing. He remembered the two of them stopping and then bursting out into fits of giggles and laughter and just laying there with their arms around each other. His first wife, but always his favorite. No matter how many wives he took after her, she was his favorite. The other 36 came over the years...honestly its been so long and there are so many, that he doesn't remember exactly how. He can say that quite a few of them had come from being conquered, a few sold to him, he remembers that at least one of them had been a prostitute before he decided to marry her. At least one. Two of them he didn't care for. 

One of them, had been a princess given by her father, to ally their kingdoms. She didn't like him, no matter how much he tried to woo her, she just didn't like him. So finally he just stopped trying, because he had other wives anyway. Besides she was too naggy, and always seemed to find a fault in everything he did. The second brings him great rage when he thinks about her. She had been a handmaiden and had loved him, so he decided to bring her in....he didn't even know or remember why he just did it. But well..she was jealous of the other wives. Always demanding more of his attention, more of his time, wanting more and more of his love for herself. Finally one day, he didn't know why but she got into an argument with his favorite wife...and she had apparently gotten so angry, she took a torch and burned her.  Set her on fire. She made it out of course, but she had been burned so badly and had been in so much pain.....he had been in battle at the time, but someone sent a message to him. He returned and he was not the loving husband everyone knew him as...that night he had become Nandor the Relentless at home. He doesn't even remember what he did, only that she spent the rest of her life in a cell until it was time for his wives to leave. 

His favorite wife, Shahrzad was good, patient, kind, forgiving. Everything he was not. What began as a  marriage of convenience blossomed into love. Something that he still holds near and dear to his heart...even if she had been dead for so long. Would he have turned her into a vampire if he could? Before he knew what he did yes. He would have turned her and together, they would have been the best undead power couple all of vampire kind had ever seen. Now he's sitting there wondering. Would she have retained her kindness and purity....or would she have become as jaded and cynical as he had over the millenia. No he hopes not. Would she and Nadja have been friends? Chit chatting about the latest Vampire gossip and rumors? Some girl talk and laughing about how both their husbands are hilarious? Well no he was hilarious Laszlo wasn't. What would she have thought of Guillermo? Would she have told him to be nicer to him? Would she have approved of a familiar? He knows she would have been kind to him. She would have cared about Guillermo. Would he and the others have liked her? He thinks so. 

But they will never meet. 

She has been dead a long, long, long time. 

The night his wives left he had told them to leave because he was in the midst of his transformation. 

His transformation is one he remembers with clarity. It had been a ball, a winter's ball a wife was celebrating a birthday...so he threw a party. Everyone who was anyone was there. The details are a little fuzzy, but he remembered seeing the most gorgeous woman. Pale skin, long dark hair, bright red lips, and fully...endowed. He had never seen her before until then. He had asked her to dance, some of the wives rolled their eyes, others gave a knowing glance because 'oh no here's wife number 38 probably'. They went to the balcony, and he charmed her, wooed her, and she just seemed so taken with him. Taken with his skill in battle, taken with his looks, taken with his power..and the next thing he knows, two very sharp and pointy fangs are in his jugular and he feels his blood being sucked out. He doesn't understand it at the time, what she's doing, but she's doing something. and she bites her lip, hard enough to draw blood before kissing him..he remembered the first taste of blood so clearly. The days after had been full of excruciating pain and agony. He sent his wives and children away...his favorite tried to stay by his side but...he did something he would always regret. He screamed at her, yelled at her with so much ferocity she looked frightened...he had even put his hands on her. Something he had never done. 

"Nandor please." He can still hear her beg, "What has become of you?"

"Didn't you hear me!?" He yelled before gripping her shoulders tightly, and she whimpered as she turned away from him while he shook her. " I told you to leave me alone! I do not want you here! "

She cried out, as he tossed her to the floor. She cried, and her cries fell on his ears breaking his heart as she looked up at him with a look he hopes to never see again. One of sadness, betrayal, pity all rolled into one. He tried to apologize, but she simply left him....left him alone. Something he never forgave himself for. 

"I say old chap, are you crying?" Asked Lazslo.

"You can join in if its really bothering you this much." Says Nadja.

"Leave me alone!" He growls. 

"Ok, ok, geez sorry for asking." Said Nadja. 

"Asshole." Said Laszlo. 

Where was he in his broody thoughts, a yes his favorite wife had just left.....that was a fun memory. After she left...after they all left...the monster known as Nandor the Relentless rose. If everyone thought he had been terrible before, oh he was even worse now. The vampire who sired him, she had relished in the blood he spilled, she had adored his ferocity, his darkness, she had mentored him in the ways of being a vampire. But in a sense.....he had become her Guillermo. If she wanted someone killed, he killed them, if she wanted something done you did it, if she wanted sex right now? She didn't care if you weren't in the mood you had it then and you had it good. If Guillermo thought  he was bad, his sire was far worse. At least he never threatened to kill Guillermo when he fucked up. At least he treated Guillermo better, than she ever treated him. He never took advantage of his familiar, had never used and abused him. Sure he admits he can go a little too far every once in awhile, but Guillermo knows that Nandor cares about him right? 

Last night had proved it. 

Had proved her wrong. 

After being driven out of Al'Qolodar, he had traveled with her. They had experienced so much together, seen so much, and yet...she was always there to show him every act of destruction and tragedy humanity had to offer. The Crusades, Witch Hunts, Spanish Inquisition, the Colonization of other countries by Britain. Showed him all the evils of the world, until he hated humans just as much as she did. Until he believed in vampire supremacy as she had...no there had been a point in time where he hadn't. Just one moment. He had met Nadja once, and she spoke of her human love Gregor and his reincarnations. He wondered how she could ever love a human. 

"Sometimes the heart wants what it wants." She had said absentmindedly. And he remembered in that moment a servant boy and a princess, who fell in love for that very reason. "Listen, my husband and I are sailing to the New World. If you're ever there, don't be afraid to come seek us out sometime."

He still remembers that night just before leaving. 

"Oh yes, don't listen to Nadja. Simpering little fool, who pines every other century for a man who keeps losing his head. " Had said his Mistress. " Humans are weak and pathetic, little cockroaches, who only exist as our food source. But you, my dark beauty of the Earth's rotting core. You and I are different, we are better. We are stronger, we will exist untouched by time, and humans they consider us monsters. They would destroy us the very first chance they got. "

"You don't know that." He'd said. 

"Really? Tell someone you're a vampire right now. Go on, do it. See what happens." She'd goaded him. 

"No, no I'm not going to." He'd replied, and she rolled her eyes. 

"Don't try to think Nandor, we both know you're not very good at it. You exist, to serve me, to be my lover, my guard dog, that's all you're good for and that's all you will ever be good for. Do you really think anyone, human or vampire could ever love or even care about someone like you? After everything you've done? Who would even want you? I'm the only one who does." She'd said, placing her hands on his shoulders. " Don't let silly little Nadja put those thoughts in your head. Look where loving a human has gotten her? Nothing but pain and misery."

" Maybe...maybe I could have a human friend?" He asked, and she laughed in his face. 

"A human friend? How positively gauche. Once again, go ahead.....tell someone the truth, and see what happens." She had said. 

So he did. He had befriended someone, an Abraham Van Helsing. Abe had been a pretty cool guy. They had joked, laughed, had told each other secrets, a bromance for the ages...until Van Helsing almost killed him after finding out his secret. Abraham had called him a monster, had told him that he would kill him, and really all Nandor did was bite someone infront of him because he'd been hungry. Ok, maybe not the best way to tell your best friend you were a vampire. But...he couldn't help himself. And that had almost gotten him killed. After he made it out his Sire was there. 

"See? I told you. Humans don't care about vampires." 

And that had been it. 

He had come with her to the New World, and ended up in Staten Island together. Their dynamic the same as it had always been. Until finally one night, he had fed on someone, and came across Laszlo, who was skulking there. 

"I do say, you just stole my kill old chap." He'd said with a laugh, before he noticed the look in Nandor's eyes. "Are you quite alright?"

"Yes why?"

"You look like someone just told you your dog died." Said Laszlo, and the conqueror turned away. "Come on, why don't you come on over to my place. My wife should be home, probably getting dinner ready, I just felt a little peckish. "

"My Sire wouldn't like that." Said Nandor, and Laszlo looked at him strangely. 

"You sure you're a vampire? You sound more like a familiar." The other vampire looked at him for a long time, even as Nandor said nothing. He motioned for him to follow before shouting 'Bat' and flying off. Nandor just shrugged at this point and followed him. They made it home and there was Nadja humming as some humans were on the couch squirming in fear, as they were bound and gagged. 

"Laszlo look! I have prepared dinner." Said Nadja with a smile. 

"So you have, oh darling I've brought a guest." Said Laszlo, and Nandor gave a little wave. 

"Oh! Its you! Come in!" She said allowing him into the house. They feasted, and Nandor ended up venting to them that night. He still remembers the looks on Laszlo and Nadja's faces as they looked at him before looking at each other. He wishes he knew what they were thinking, but it had been something. It had not been long when his Sire had shown up demanding to know why he was here and how long he planned to keep her waiting. Nandor said nothing, when immediately Nadja said. "He's staying here with us now."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard my wife. Honestly, treating another vampire like a common familiar. It's outrageous." Said Laszlo, before taking another bite of dinner. 

" I can treat my sire however I want." She replied. 

" Not by doing what you do, you heartless banshee. At least when I sired Laszlo it was because I loved him, not because I wanted a slave. " Said Nadja, and his mistress glowered before Nadja turned and looked at Nandor. "You don't have to stay with her, she may have sired you but you're under no obligation to stay. You have no reason to. You deserve to be treated better, than how she treats you."

"I do?" He asked curiously. 

"Oh that's depressing." Said Laszlo, wincing slightly. 

" Of course you do, you're a vampire. We don't take orders from anyone but ourselves." Said Nadja with a smile. 

And in that moment, Nandor knew she was right. He was an immortal being, one who was strong and powerful. He had been a warlord, a conqueror, a leader, and he did deserve better this. He turned to the vampire who sired him, and she glared at him. He strode up to her, and looked down at her. 

"I am not putting up with you anymore." He replied, and she went to strike him when he grabbed her hand by the wrist. "And this is the last time you will ever raise a hand to me again."

She hissed before changing to a bat before flying away. And in that moment, he felt something he had not felt for centuries...freedom. Except. 

"Wait where am I going to live now?" He asked. 

" I see no reason why you can't stay here. "Said Laszlo, patting his back and Nadja nodded. He smiled for the first time in a long, long time. 

" Alright we're home and there is no sunlight." Came Guillermo's voice. The three vampires emerged from the box, the curtains drawn, and their bodies were still sore from the burns they'd suffered in the well but they didn't sting that much. Nandor looked over to Laszlo and Nadja, who were bickering over something, but stopped when they saw hi staring. 

"What're you looking at?" Asked Laszlo. 

"Just my two bestest friends in the whole wide world." Said Nandor, gliding over and hugging Nadja who was so confused as she looked at him before looking at Laszlo, Colin, and Guillermo who just shrugged. "Ok, Laszlo, its your turn."

"No,no,no,no I don't know what's gotten into you, but you are not going to- GET AWAY FROM ME!" He exclaimed as Nandor hugged him tightly. Guillermo and Colin chuckled, as Nandor was hugging Laszlo who was now uncomfortable. "BAT!"

Laszlo turned into a bat and flew away, Immediately Nadja rushed off before he hugged her again. Though Nandor did note the small smile on her face, as she did so. The large vampire turned to Colin and Guillermo, immediately Colin rushed off to go return the Umbrella. Making sure to not let the sun shine in. He couldn't handle this much positivity and support. Guillermo, loked away, he knew Nandor probably wasn't going to hug him. And to his surprise....his master did. 

"M-master?" Asked Guillermo. 

"Shush, Guillermo don't ruin the moment by talking." Said Nandor. 

"Ok."

"And you ruined it." Said Nandor, letting him go. " But thank you, for telling the truth. Even if you did almost get eaten."

" You did the same for me. Thank you Master." Said Guillermo with a smile. 

"Ugh talk about cavity inducing." Came a voice Nandor was sure he would never hear again..even if he had just spent the last hour reminiscing about said voice. She came out of the shadows, a smile on her face. "Hello Nandor, Nandor's pet."

"Um it's Guillermo actually...um I'm his familiar."

"Same thing." She replied, making Guillermo look down. "I saw what happened. Everything. You really thought I'd just leave my favorite toy around here without checking up on him every once in awhile?"

" Ok, ouch. So wait you've..how did you see everything? Are you stalking me?" He asked a little creeped out. 

"You have cameras following you every week, and they upload their documentary of the week...I just got done watching it. "She said, and ok yeah she had a point there. "Ugh this place is a dump."

"Hey! Do I go and talk shit about where you live?" Asked Nandor, and she rolled her eyes. 

"Um Master who is this?" Asked Guillermo, she smiled and disappeared before reappearing right next to Guillermo who gasped as he tensed up. She giggled, and lightly stroked his cheek. 

"I'm the one who sired him. Such a sweet little thing you are. You stood up for him. Why?" She asked. 

"Because he's my master. I care about him." Said Guillermo, and for the first time in a long time, Nandor felt something in his chest. He didn't recognize this feeling but it was...good and warm. She giggled, and scoffed. 

"You care about him? Why? He doesn't care about you. Infact he sees you, as nothing but a slave. Just someone to toil away and look after him, until he gets bored and decides to eat you. Why do you think he hasn't turned you into a vampire? Why do you think he forgot your anniversary? Oh yes he lied to the council for you, he protected you, but do you think that means anything?" She asked. 

"Look..I don't I don't know if it does mean anything. But Nandor is my master, and he appreciates me, he just has a funny way of showing it. " Said Guillermo. 

"It's true I really do." Said Nandor. The female vampire looked at him, before looking at Guillermo who was fearful as he looked into her eyes. 

" Aww, such loyalty. Maybe I should steal you away, and make you my familiar." She smiled, and bared her fangs and inched towards Guillermo's neck.

"No!" Exclaimed Nandor, immediately pulling Guillermo away from her. He knew what she was like, he would not have Guillermo suffer under her as he had all those years. She scoffed and laughed once more before sighing as she looked at Nandor. 

"You've gone soft. It's adorable. But you remember what happened last time. Even if he's loyal now, this sweet little mouse will betray you, and he will be your undoing....and you will know that I was right, and that I still am. Humans and vampires, we can't coexist. To us, they're walking happy meals. To them, we are monsters. That's all we will ever see each other as." 

"No. You are wrong, Guillermo would never betray me." Said Nandor, with such conviction Guillermo smiled before looking at her. 

"I wouldn't." He replied sincerely. She smirked, and turned into a bat before flying off. "Wait how did she get in here and who invited her in?"

"I have no idea master." Said Guillermo, "Oh but I meant what I said..I would never betray you."

"I know." Said Nandor haughtily, though deep down he really did appreciate it. Deep down in his cold, black heart.....he was relieved. Because she was wrong, there was one human who was kind....his wife's kindness had not gone, it was simply......wait. He looked back at Guillermo, who looked at him strangely. Could...no, no,no he was just tired and clearly thinking too much. There was no way Guillermo was the reincarnation of his long dead wife or anything. He's been spending too much time with Nadja. Still, he wonders if she would be proud of him. Even so, would he ever turn Guillermo into a vampire? He doesn't know. Because he remembers Nadja's words. A vampire has no reason or obligation to stay with their master once they've been sired...and he doesn't know if he wants Guillermo to leave once he is. 


End file.
